Despite best efforts, people become angry on the job. Anger isn’t a positive emotion, but it is part of the human condition. Not feeling anger isn’t natural, but what is done with that anger that counts, especially when in or revolving a work environment. Finding positive outlets can transform a negative situation into positive results.
Make a Decision
While there might be medical reasons or physical conditions that lead to poor anger management or control, the overwhelming majority of us do not suffer from those but simply from a lack of control. You may not be able to control the emotions you feel, but you can make a decision that you can control what you do with them.
Step 1: Make a decision that you can control your anger, then implement action to comply with that decision.
Identify What Needs Controlling
In this case, identify anger as anger and frustration as frustration. Often, the latter is expressed as the former when frustration is not resolved. Once you identify that it’s frustration that causes the anger, determine a positive resolution to that frustration, and your anger should dissipate naturally.
Step 2: Identify the true nature of what you’re feeling.
Differentiate Reasons and Excuses
If you’re late on a deadline, and you get chastised for it, who or what caused the tardiness? Before you become angry, determine whether you’re late due to an excuse or a reason.
A reason might be that the computer system crashed, and it wasn’t operating again in time to submit the project. An excuse might be that you didn’t have all the information you needed. The latter is an excuse, for you should gather all needed data as the second step in project management; the first is identification and verification of goals and steps to attain them.
A reason is something truly beyond your control. An excuse involves something that you do control. If you needed information from a co-worker or another department, how many times did you politely ask for it? Did you involve your supervisor after a few requests went unanswered or unfulfilled? If you didn’t take every possible action but still attempt to divert responsibility from yourself, that’s an excuse.
Step 3: Take responsibility, identify reasons and avoid excuses.
Triggers and Self-Determination
Knowing what situations always make you angry can greatly influence your response determination. You may feel that flash of anger, but you don’t have to hold onto it. Identifying your triggers help you avoid those situations, but once you feel that anger, you can change that energy into something positiveâ€”and that’s not reacting in an angry manner.
Transform that anger into motivation and focus, but do so without the thought, â€œI’ll just show him!â€ Instead, think of performance goals and use your newly generated energy to meet them, which presents an opposite effect than an immature confirmation of inability.
Make a pledge to yourself to use energy in a constructive, positive way. â€œNotes to selfâ€ posted everywhere that remind and reinforce your positive decision help you keep your anger in check and along positive routes.
You truly can train yourself if you put your mind to itâ€”literally.
Step 4: Be a positive energy user and use it positively.
Article written by Holly Adams, who writes for Coupon Croc. Searching for self help books? Find the best deals on Argos and save when you shop for books online.